The Pleasure Bunny Blog

Sex: Fact and Fiction

What’s the average penis size? How fast is premature ejaculation? Exactly where is the G-spot? Grab a ruler and a stopwatch as the experts sort sex myths from the facts.

By Rob Baedeker
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Louise Chang. MD

If there were a roll call for the founding fathers of sex myths for men, a couple of no-brainers would surely make the list: porn legend John Holmes, whose yule-log-size penis still casts a shadow over anxiety-prone males. Ditto NBA-great Wilt Chamberlain, whose claim of having slept with 20,000 women makes Don Juan look monastic.

And then there’s purveyor-of-sex-myths Walt Disney.

“I think Walt Disney creates a lot of mythology,” says Seth Prosterman, PhD, a clinical sexologist and licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in San Francisco. “In Disney movies, people fall in love and walk into the sunset, and you get this myth that intimacy is a given once you fall in love, and sexuality is natural and follows that.”

In reality, says Prosterman, “Sex is something that we learn throughout a lifetime.”

If sexuality is a continuing education, a lot of us are scrambling to make up course credits. And in a realm that’s clouded by ego, myth and advertising that preys on anxieties, getting the facts about sex can be difficult. What is the average size of the male penis? How long do most men last during intercourse? Can men have multiple orgasms? Does the G-spot exist, and if so, how do I find it?

(Need to talk to the guys about something? Check out the Men’s Health: Man-to-Man message board for straight talk.)

Penis Size: The Hard Facts

“Drastically enlarge the penis length and width to sizes previously thought impossible!” reads a website for the Penis Enlargement Patch. (One envisions a lab-coated mad scientist pouring chemicals on his own penis, then shouting “Eureka!” and phoning the Guinness Book.) Almost anyone with an email account has been deluged by spam for such miracle-growth patches and pills, and the endurance of sex myths may explain the pervasiveness of such ads.

“We equate masculinity and power with penis size,” says Ira Sharlip, MD, clinical professor of urology at the University of California at San Francisco and president of the International Society for Sexual Medicine. “Of course, there’s really no relationship.” Still, Sharlip says, “all” of his patients want to increase their penis size.

The idea that bigger is better is “not just total mythology,” says Seth Prosterman, who has counseled couples since 1984 and notes that some of the women he’s worked with do prefer a bigger penis — aesthetically or “fit-wise.” But, he adds, “For the vast majority of partners, penis size doesn’t matter.”

So what, exactly, constitutes a big penis? Let’s whip out some data:

The average penis size is between five and six inches. That’s for an erect penis.
The flaccid male organ averages around three and a half inches.

Sex Fact: We Are Not Our Penises

If you had an anxiety hiccup before you read the “erect” qualifier, consider it a metaphor for the danger of jumping to conclusions about penis size — or about the primacy of the penis altogether.

“The idea that the penis is the most important part of your body underlies so many of men’s sexual problems,” says Cory Silverberg, a sexual health educator and founding member of Come As You Are, an education-based sex store in Toronto. “One of the biggest sex myths for men is the notion that we are our penises, and that’s all that counts in terms of sex.”

“It’s a myth that using the penis is the main way to pleasure a woman,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex and relationships counselor in New York City whose book She Comes First offers a guide to “female orgasms and producing them through inspired oral techniques.” In his book, Kerner cites a study that reports women reaching orgasm about 25% of the time with intercourse, compared with 81% of the time during oral sex.

OK, OK, Size Isn’t Important. But How Can I Increase My Penis Size?

Despite the facts, the din of penis-enlargement marketing only seems to grow louder. (“Realize total and absolute power and domination in bed with your partner, with your new-found penis size and sexual performance” screams the ad for the Penis Enlargement Patch.) Men keep chasing after the mythical, mammoth-sized member.

Silverberg says male clients at his store, and in his counseling work, constantly ask him about penis pumps, whose powers of elongation, he says, are a “myth,” although he adds that some men who’ve used them report satisfaction, a phenomenon he explains this way: “I think spending more time paying attention to our genitals will probably increase our sexual health.”

Just the Facts on the G-Spot

If sex myths have such power over men’s thinking about their own anatomy, they have even more sway when it comes to female partners’ bodies — especially the much-debated G-spot.

Named after a German doctor, Ernst Gräfenberg, who first wrote about an erogenous zone in the anterior vaginal wall, the G-spot was popularized by a 1982 book called … The G-spot. This region behind the pubic bone is often credited as the trigger for a vaginal (vs. clitoral) orgasm, and even a catalyst for female ejaculation.

At the same time, the G-spot is commonly derided as perpetuating the myth ensconced by Sigmund Freud — namely, that the clitoral orgasm is a “lesser” form of climax than the vaginal orgasm, which requires penile penetration. As Ian Kerner summarizes, “In Freud’s view, there were no two ways about it: If a woman couldn’t be satisfied by penetrative sex, something must be wrong with her.”

The G-spot’s existence is still debated, and whether it’s fact or fiction depends on whom you ask.

“The G-spot exists,” says Seth Prosterman. “It’s a source of powerful orgasm for a percentage of women.”

“I don’t think the G-spot exists,” says Ira Sharlip. “As urologists, we operate in that area [where the G-spot should be] and there just isn’t anything there — there’s no anatomical structure that’s there.”

Prosterman and others point out the importance of thinking of the G-spot in context — that it may be an extension of the clitoral anatomy, which extends back into the vaginal canal. Kerner writes that the G-spot may be “nothing more than the roots of the clitoris crisscrossing the urethral sponge.”

Helen O’Connell, MD, head of the neurourology and continence unit at the Royal Melbourne Hospital Department of Urology in Australia, says, “The G-spot has a lot in common with Freud’s idea of vaginal orgasms. It is a sexual concept, this time anatomical, that results in confusion and has resulted in the misconception that female sexuality is extremely complex.”

In the end, whether this debated locus of pleasure is fact or fiction may not matter that much. O’Connell, who is also co-author of a 2005 Journal of Urology study on the anatomy of the clitoris, says that focusing on the G-spot to the exclusion of the rest of a woman’s body is “a bit like stimulating a guy’s testicles without touching the penis and expecting an orgasm to occur just because love is present.” She says focusing on the inside of the vagina to the exclusion of the clitoris is “unlikely to bring about orgasm. It is best to think of the clitoris, urethra, and vagina as one unit because they are intimately related.”

How Long, Part 2: How Premature Is Premature Ejaculation?

The possibilities for exploring a woman’s erogenous zones may be tremendously exciting — which leads to another source of sex myth and male anxiety: How long can I last? And how long should I be able to last?

Premature ejaculation is “the most common form of sexual dysfunction in younger men” according to Ira Sharlip, and its prevalence is around 20% to 30% in men of all ages.

The medical method of determining premature ejaculation is called “intravaginal ejaculatory latency time” (IELT), a stopwatch-timed duration measured from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation occurs. However, Sharlip adds, this quantitative measure doesn’t tell the whole story: “There are men who ejaculate within a minute but say that they don’t have premature ejaculation. And then on other end of spectrum, there are patients who are able to last for 20 minutes, and they say they do have premature ejaculation.”

In other words, the definition of “premature” may be largely in the eye (or mind) of the beholder, and depends on a man’s sexual satisfaction and his perception of his ability to control when ejaculation occurs.

If you just can’t wait for the numbers, though, a 2005 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found “a median IELT of 5.4 minutes.”

Ian Kerner says a common cutoff time used to define premature ejaculation is two minutes, but he adds that many of the men he works with “are not guys who can last a few minutes; they’re having orgasms during foreplay, or immediately upon penetrating. They have a hard time lasting past 30 seconds.”

But a quick trigger is normal, says Kerner. “Men were wired to ejaculate quickly — and stressful situations make them ejaculate even more quickly. It’s been important to the human race. If guys took an hour to ejaculate, we’d be a much smaller planet.”

Sex therapists and physicians offer a number of techniques that can help men manage their anxiety and prolong their time to ejaculation. Several drugs — like some antidepressants (used for off-label treatment) and topical sprays — have been shown to extend time to ejaculation.

And, contrary to the common perception that distraction or decreasing stimulation is the answer (slow down, think about baseball), some say that giving in to sensation can help address the issue as well. “The way to learn [to last longer] is by getting used to intense stimulation,” says Prosterman, “to increase the frequency of intercourse, and feel every sensation of being inside your partner and enjoy it.”

Come Again? The Mythical Multiple Orgasm for Men
While multiple male orgasm is possible anywhere two or more men are gathered and talking, actual male multiple orgasm is another story. Unlike the more established phenomenon of female multiple orgasm, men’s claims of successive climaxes can stray into the realm of sex myth. At the very least, male multiple orgasm is difficult to verify and may depend on the definition of orgasm.

Prosterman says that the book The Multi-Orgasmic Man popularized “an Eastern meditative process that involves wrapping the PC [pubococcygeus] muscle around the prostate. There’s a valve on the prostate that switches on and off before urination and ejaculation. The PC muscle stops this valve from opening, allowing an orgasm without ejaculation. The idea is to keep doing that five or six times in a row.

“Out of hundreds of guys I know who’ve tried this,” says Prosterman, “I know only one who’s been able to do it.”

Is this man Mr. Lucky, or just prone to poetic license?

A 1989 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior recorded the testimony of 21 other men who claimed to be multi-orgasmic, but Ira Sharlip says “that doesn’t happen,” referring to the phenomenon of “multiple orgasms in succession over a short period of time — like minutes.” And there’s no such thing as separating ejaculation and orgasm, he says.

Orgasm or Orgasm-esque?

What may be at issue here is the definition of orgasm — which, according to a 2001 Clinical Psychology Review article, has been strikingly inconsistent. “Many definitions of orgasm “depict orgasm quantitatively as a ‘peak’ state that may not differentiate orgasm adequately from a high state of sexual arousal,” the study’s authors wrote.

In other words, those men who report multiple orgasms may be able to achieve orgasm-esque states before they hit the point of ejaculatory no-return. And many men report that strengthening the PC muscles through Kegel exercises allows them to edge closer to this “point of inevitability” without cresting the mountaintop of ejaculation and descending into the gentle valley of the flaccid and the “refractory” period, where the penis is temporarily unresponsive to sexual stimulation.

This refractory period — commonly 30 minutes or more — is an unfortunate reality. While you’re “waiting,” spending that time caressing, kissing, massaging, and nuzzling isn’t so bad. If you are trying to have a second round because your partner wants it, keep sex toys in mind.

And if that recovery period isn’t super quick, you can still enjoy multiple orgasms — you may just need to cancel your afternoon appointments.

Sex Fact: It’s Not Always about the Numbers

In the end, there seems to be a recurring theme in moving beyond sex myths: Don’t get too hung up on the numbers.

So often the key to sexual satisfaction is not about penis size, stamina records, or a technical isolation of the G-spot. Rather, it’s about understanding yourself and your partner’s desires and recognizing that, unlike those Disney characters, real people aren’t born with a perfect, divinely granted understanding of sex.

As O’Connell remarks on the perils of over-privileging of the G-spot, “It is best for partners to explore the precise areas that turn someone on and how a partner likes to be given pleasure. That applies to both men and women, and the idea that there is any consistent ‘magic spot’ in either sex is just tyrannical.”

Via WebMD

www.pleasurebunny.co.uk – Sex Toys Online

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Are you normal ‘down there’?

Whether it’s painful periods or zero interest in sex, there’s a lot going on “down there” that we don’t feel comfortable chatting about. The scarier and more embarrassing our concerns, the more probable the need that we should consult our doctors! SheKnows took some of your most pressing questions to the experts — and some of their answers may surprise you!

Q:
I have been experiencing a very embarrassing vaginal odor and itch for quite some time now. It seems like I have tried everything from washing repeatedly with soap to douching and just can’t seem to make it go away. Please help!

A:
Many women experience this problem; you are not alone, reassures Dr. Machelle M. Seibel, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Massachusetts. It could be that your vaginal pH is off. The healthy vagina maintains a pH of approximately 4.5. The body accomplishes this through a delicate ecosystem that is extremely effective in reducing odor, itch, discomfort and sometimes even infection. Many factors, like frequent sex, menstruation, contraceptives even douching can increase vaginal pH. Try RepHresh Vaginal Gel. It is the only over-the-counter product clinically proven to maintain a healthy vaginal pH for 3 days per application and works to eliminate feminine odor and relieve feminine discomfort.

Q:
Is it normal to have never had an orgasm?

A:
A woman confessed to me that she was afraid to ask her doctor a question that she had been hiding from her husband for years, shares Dr. Tammy Nelson, a psychotherapist and author. She pretended with her girlfriends, that she could relate when they talked about their sex lives. But inside, she couldn’t understand what all the fuss was – about orgasms! She “wasn’t sure,” but she “didn’t think she’d ever had one.” I assured her that if she didn’t think she’d had one, then she probably hadn’t. And that it made sense that she was afraid to ask her gyno about orgasms. She said, “How do you ask your doc if you’ve ever had an orgasm before? I’m a grown woman. I’m 34. Surely everyone has had one by this time. There must be something wrong with me.”

Actually, a large percentage of women have never had an orgasm. And studies show that almost 80 percent of women fake orgasms. This actually prevents any discussion between partners about how to make an orgasm happen. On average it takes anywhere from 7 to 20 minutes for a woman to have an orgasm of direct clitoral stimulation. If a woman has never had an orgasm, she might not know this, and her partner might not either. And, if she’s afraid to talk to her doctor about her concerns, it makes it difficult to determine whether the lack of orgasm is due to a lack of education and information or if something physical is preventing a woman from experiencing full genital stimulation.

Q:
Are my labia normal-sized?

A:
These questions fall under the “Am I normal?” category which many women are afraid to ask their doctor, relates Dr. Nelson. The answer to these questions is usually yes, you are normal. Most women have normal vulvas, and normal labia, and normal vaginas. Although there can be sexually transmitted disease and trauma to the genitals that may make the labia and vulva somewhat misshapen, it is highly unusual, and women should know that the average vagina and vulva is not symmetrical.

Q:
I have frequent yeast infections and I don’t know why. I know there are medications to get rid of them but is there anything on the market to prevent them before they even start?

A:
Yes! RepHresh Pro-B is clinically shown to provide healthy probiotic lactobacillus that works with your body to balance yeast and bacteria, says Dr. Seibel. With one capsule taken daily, you can take control and help maintain vaginal flora in a normal range.

Q:
My partner wants me to have an orgasm every time, and I just don’t want to, so I fake it. I hear that’s bad to do. What should I do?

A:
Faking orgasms is a bone of controversy, says Katherine Forsythe, MSW, a sex education specialist. Some experts say never do it. I say go ahead, as long as you allow yourself real orgasms with your partner on a regular basis, and the decision to pretend is based on your needs, not fulfilling a requirement from your partner. The argument against faking it suggests that you are trying too hard to please, and you are not being pleasured at your pace on your time frame. This, in turn, can become a pressure-filled habit and makes you wonder if you have lost the ability to orgasm. Then, a vicious circle ensues: you pretend, you doubt yourself; you doubt yourself and you can’t come. My feeling on the whole thing is this: if you make the conscious choice not to reach orgasm (too tired, distracted, low arousal, etc), and you enjoy the drama of writhing around and pretending, and it pleases you as well as your partner, go ahead. I have clients who tell me that sometimes the drama of faking it is so much fun that they can’t remember if they really “came” or not. If you can masturbate to orgasm, you’ve still got it. Or, if you can orgasm from time to time with your partner, you still have it. As we age, orgasm takes longer for some people. The best bet is to be honest with your partner, if pretending is detracting from your enjoyment. Explain that you may not orgasm all the time, and you are happy with that. The pleasuring is the point, and pleasuring can happen without orgasm.

Q:
Is spotting normal if I am sexually active?

A:
Spotting is not a normal consequence of sexual activity, and whether or not you are sexually active, let your gynecologist or other female-health clinician know, says Lauri J. Romanzi, MD, PC FACOG, a Clinical Associate Professor of Gynecology at Weill Cornell Medical Center. Spotting may be due to ovulation, birth control side effects, slight hormonal irregularities, peri-menopause, infection, polyps, fibroids, cancer, or other uterine, cervical, hormonal or ovarian conditions. The majority of the time it is nothing to worry about, but since you can’t figure it out on your own, a visit to or phone conversation with your doctor is always the smart thing to do.

Q:
What are things that I can do to relieve UTI symptoms and prevent them from occurring in the first place?

A:
If you are experiencing symptoms associated with a urinary tract infection (UTI) such as frequent urination, urgency or lower abdominal pain, you can relieve symptoms with an over- the-counter remedy like AZO STANDARD Maximum Strength, says Dr. Romanzi. It can offer relief in approximately 20 minutes. You can then use an AZO Test Strips to confirm if you have a UTI. This allows you to inform your doctor over the phone and potentially get an antibiotic faster to treat the infection.

For prevention, drink adequate amounts of water, always wipe from front to back, and use a dietary supplement that contains PACran, such as AZO Cranberry. This blocks the attachment of harmful bacteria to the bladder wall. Some women suffer recurrent bladder infections after menopause, and may benefit from low-dose vaginal estrogen therapy in the form of suppository, cream or vaginal ring. If bladder infections continue to recur despite these efforts, discuss antibiotic prophylaxis with your doctor. Antibiotic prophylaxis involves single dose antibiotic take at or after a typical precipitating activity, most commonly sex, in order to prevent infection from developing, so that you can avoid the cycle of recurrent infections.

Q:
Can my doctor tell if I’ve had an abortion, an STD or a miscarriage?

A:
No, says Dr. Romanzi. Not unless you have excessive scarring as a result. Since these things can affect your mental and physical health, it’s important to let your doctor know about all your past medical problems and procedures. If you come in with an infertility problem or pelvic pain — either of which can be related to miscarriage, an STD or complications from an abortion, your doctor will be better able to diagnose and treat you if she knows about your health history.

Q:
Does bacterial vaginosis have to be sexually transmitted?

A:
There’s a broad spectrum of bacterial infections that women can get, and they’re extremely common, and doctors are taught in med school that it’s always sexually transmitted (30 percent of prostitutes have vaginosis, by the way). So it’s scary and embarrassing when you get one. “My doctor admitted that she’s heard a couple of patients (myself included) who convinced her that there may be some exceptions to the “somebody’s cheating” explanation for infections, says reader Dana, a marketing executive.

Q:
Is it normal to have a lot of pain during my period?

A:
“Painful periods, nausea and ‘killer cramps’ for days are not all part of ‘being a woman.’ Says Tamer Seckin, MD. An estimated 10 million United States women and adolescent girls, do not experience relief from a couple of ibuprofen and a day or two to feel normal again. In addition to ‘killer cramps,’ these women may experience painful intercourse, irregular bleeding, increased gas and bloating and infertility.

When all other causes are excluded, 90 percent of the time, it’s probably endometriosis. Unfortunately, endometriosis is the most prevalent; most misdiagnosed, mismanaged, and mishandled disease–and one of the top three causes of female infertility. Thousands of women end up with unnecessary hysterectomies. Women and girls often try to ‘manage’ the pain of endometriosis for years with painkillers and other medications, but these only mask symptoms of the disease. Yet every stage of endometriosis is treatable and, with the correct surgical techniques, even curable.

www.pleasurebunny.co.uk – Sex Toys Online!

It was just last week that we heard about Love Land, China’s first sex theme park, designed to improve sex education and bust taboos. But no sooner had photos of this giant pair of spread legs been broadcast across the international media than state officials decided to shut the park down before it had even officially opened.

“The investigation determined the park’s content was vulgar and that it was neither healthy nor educational. It had an evil influence on society and had to be torn down immediately,” said an official.

So, sadly, the legs were toppled, the displays of giant genitalia dismantled, and the sex-technique workshops shut down, leaving nothing but an empty lot of shattered, perverted dreams.

If the park’s creators are looking to recoup costs, we’d suggest putting those legs up on eBay for some enterprising business owner/college student to bid on.

Via: asylum

www.pleasurebunny.co.uk

Sexually Transmitted Infections Surface Soon After Teenage Girls Become Sexually Active
By Jennifer Warner

WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Louise Chang

One in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted infection (STI), according to a new study.

Researchers found that 24.1% of girls between the ages of 14 and 19 tested positive for one of five of the most common sexually transmitted infections, including human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes simplex virus type 2, and chlamydia.

But what they say is most concerning is how soon these sexually transmitted infections appeared after teenage girls began engaging in sexual activity. The study showed that within one year of initiating sexual activity, 19.2% of teen girls had an STI.

“The prevalence of STIs among female adolescents is substantial, and STIs begin to be acquired soon after sexual initiation and with few sex partners,” write researcher Sara E. Forhan, MD, MPH, of the CDC and colleagues in Pediatrics.

The presence of a sexually transmitted infection does not necessarily mean that the person will develop symptoms of the disease. But some infections can lead to long-term complications, such as pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, and cervical cancer. Some STIs also increase the risk of becoming infected with HIV.

In the study, researchers analyzed information collected from 838 teenage girls aged 14-19 who participated in the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey in 2003-2004.

The girls were interviewed, examined, and tested for the following five sexually transmitted infections: gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, herpes simplex virus type 2, and HPV.

Overall, 24.1% tested positive for at least one of these STIs, and the prevalence was higher, 37.7%, among sexually experienced teenage girls.

The most common STI was HPV (18.3% of all girls) followed by chlamydia (3.9%).

“These findings highlight the importance of both primary and secondary STI prevention, including early, skill-based sex education; HPB vaccination of preadolescent girls; and chlamydia screening of all sexually active female adolescents,” the researchers write.

www.pleasurebunny.co.uk – Safe Sex

strong>Why do people always talk about condoms?

Because if you want to have sex with someone, they’re important! Sex can be great, but there are risks involved. Aside from all the emotional issues, you can catch infections, and a woman can become pregnant. If you don’t want to end up in a STD clinic or with a baby, using a condom is a good idea. It won’t be much fun either when you have to tell your partner or parent that you have a sexually transmitted disease or are pregnant.

It’s okay – my boy/girlfriend will sort it out. . .

Some people think it’s the man’s job to make sure he uses a condom, some people think contraception is up to the woman. They’re both wrong – it takes two to have sex, so both partners should make an effort. If you’re not responsible enough to sort out contraception, you’re not responsible enough to be having sex. If you’re sleeping with someone, you should have enough respect for them to protect them.

What about when we haven’t got a condom?

Then if you want to be safe, you’ll have to get one. Some types of contraception (such as the pill) are more effective than condoms for avoiding pregnancy, but won’t reduce your chances of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.

And if you’re single, it doesn’t hurt to carry condoms with you – just in case!

Doesn’t that make me look ‘easy’?
No – it makes you look like you’re mature enough to look after yourself.

Oh, and it’s okay to put a condom in your pocket or your wallet if you’re going out for the night, but don’t keep them in there for long – they’ll go squidgy! Condoms need to be stored in a cool, dry place. They also have a sell-by date on the packet – don’t use condoms that are too old.

You can’t catch anything or get pregnant on your first time though, can you?
Actually, you can. It’s scary enough having sex for the first time without having to worry about using condoms, too. But you do need to – if you’re nervous about using condoms or if you don’t want to seem inexperienced, practise with them in advance. A boy could try to put a condom on when he masturbates, to get used to what it feels like, and what to do with it when he finishes.

Okay. . . so where can I get some?
Buying condoms can seem frightening or embarrassing, especially for a young person, but it isn’t really. You can get them in most pharmacies or drugstores and a lot of supermarkets sell them. In some countries such as the UK and parts of the USA young people are entitled to free contraceptive advice and contraceptives from their doctor. But you don’t need a prescription to get them, and often health clinics, family planning centres, and even schools have supplies of free condoms for teenagers. In most places, you can buy condoms whatever your age.

If you’re still too embarrassed to go and buy them, you can sometimes get them from vending machines (often in public toilets) or over the internet.

But there’s so many different kinds! Which ones are best?
There are a lot of different kinds of condoms, but don’t worry. Here are the different types you can get:

Material – Most condoms are made from latex or polyurethane. The latex ones are a little stronger, so they give slightly better protection from STDs and pregnancy. A very small amount of people are allergic to latex, though, so they use polyurethane ones.
Size – Condoms come in lots of different sizes. You can get longer or shorter or wider or narrower ones. If a packet of condoms says ‘large’ or ’small’, this is usually talking about the width of the condom, not the length. Be honest! A condom that is too big may come off, and a condom that’s too small might break. Most condoms that you buy in shops and vending machines will be a standard size.
Lubricated – Some condoms are not lubricated at all, some have silicone-based lubricants, some have water-based lubricants. Some condoms are lubricated with a spermicide (see below).
Spermicidal – Some condoms have a spermicidal lubricant, which can help to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy. One of the most common spermicides is something called nonoxynol-9. This is a chemical that some people are sensitive to, and if it’s used regularly it can can cause irritation and increase the chance of HIV infection. Condoms lubricated with Nonoxynol 9 should not be used for anal sex.
Ribbed – These condoms have little ridges running around them. These can make sex more pleasurable for both partners, and if they’re used correctly (see below) then they’re just as safe as ordinary ones. Ribbed condoms are the answer for people who complain “But I can’t feel anything if I put on a condom. . . ”
Coloured – The natural colour of latex is a creamy white, so lots of condoms have different colours – some of them even glow in the dark. Again, if they’re used properly, they’re fine.
Flavoured – Some sexually transmitted infections can be passed on orally, so it’s a good idea to put on a condom for oral sex. Sometimes, people don’t like the smell and taste of latex, so they use flavoured condoms. These can taste of anything from strawberry to curry! Flavoured condoms shouldn’t be used for vaginal or anal sex, though, unless they have the kite mark sign in the UK and Europe, or are FDA approved in the USA.
Resevoir tipped – Most condoms have a reservoir tip to catch semen, some have a plain tip. If they have a reservoir tip, be sure to pinch the end when putting them on – if they have air inside them, they can break when you’re having sex.

I’m still not sure…
If you’re unsure about what to do it can help to talk things through with an adult, but sometimes this is not possible. Teens sometimes find it embarrassing talking to their parents about sex – you could try asking a teacher or a guidance councillor for advice and information, if you’re more comfortable with that. The internet can also be a really good place to look for information and advice.

So how effective are condoms?
There’s lots of myths about how effective condoms are. If they’re used correctly, condoms are about 94% – 97% (depending on which study you look at) effective at preventing pregnancy and they’re nearly 100% effective at preventing transmission of HIV. Some people say that certain viruses can ‘pass through’ latex – that’s not true.

They won’t help against crabs, though, and some sexually transmitted infections (like herpes) can be caught through oral sex with someone who is infected, so you need to use condoms for this, too.

Is it even safer wearing two condoms?
No! The friction of the condoms rubbing together would probably make them both break, and it wouldn’t be very comfortable for the person wearing them. You also shouldn’t use the male and female condoms together.

What is the female condom?
There is also a female condom, which is a type of pouch which fits inside the vagina.

How do I mention condoms without spoiling the moment?
“Everything’s going great, the atmosphere’s really romantic, and then you have to get a condom out. . . .”

“Putting a condom on can be quite sexy. ”

One of the main reasons that teens say they don’t like using condoms is that they think condoms interrupt a passionate moment – and it’s true that it can be difficult to find, open and unroll a condom in the dark when you’ve both got your minds on other things.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult and it doesn’t have to ’spoil the moment’.

The best way to make sure you can put a condom easily is to practise in advance . . . girls can practise on appropriately shaped vegetables. Then, when the time arrives to do it for real, you’ll know what you’re doing. Putting a condom on can be quite sexy. It doesn’t have to be done by the person who is going to wear the condom – it can be quite an intimate thing for his partner to do.

Keep your condoms and some lube close by, then you won’t have to get up, put the lights on, go into the bathroom and hunt around in the back of the cupboard!

What is ‘lube’?
Lubricant or ‘lube’ is like a cream or jelly which is sometimes used to make sex go a little more smoothly. Quite often being tense or rushing things can make sex difficult or painful, so try to relax and take your time. You might also want to use extra lubrication. There are many different brands of lube, for example KY Jelly, ID Glide, Astroglide or Liquid Silk, which you can buy from supermarkets or drugstores. There are also different types, for example some lubes are designed specifically for anal sex. If you are using a condom then you must use a water-based lubricant like KY Jelly, and not an oil-based lubricant like Vaseline. Make sure the lubricant only goes on the outside of the condom – if any gets on the inside, the condom can slip off during sex.

Any tips for putting condoms on?
Firstly, you should put the condom on before there’s any contact between the penis and your partner’s body. Fluids released from the penis even very early on in sex can cause pregnancy or transmit an STI.

So, when the penis is erect, open the condom wrapper. Don’t do it with your teeth! This can cause tiny rips in the condom which you might not notice. Unroll the condom a little over the top of the penis – make sure that the roll is on the outside – if it’s backwards then the condom won’t unroll. If there’s any air trapped in the condom, this can cause it to break, so make sure you pinch the end to squeeze any air out. Then just firmly roll the condom down as far as you can. If you want to use any lube, put it on the outside of the condom and make sure it’s water-based lubricant. Oil based lubricants can weaken the condom and make it break.

What if it breaks?
If a condom breaks while you’re having sex, then stop right away and put a new condom on. While you’re having sex you can sometimes feel if a condom has broken, but not always, so you should check occasionally that it’s okay. If you think some semen has escaped from the condom you might want to think about talking to your doctor about getting emergency contraception and an HIV/STD test.

Do I need to put on a condom for oral sex?
Yes. Some sexually transmitted diseases and infections (such as herpes) can be passed on by oral sex. When you use a condom for oral sex, you should change condoms before having vaginal or anal sex, because teeth may have made little holes in it.

What about anal sex?
Again, yes. Anal sex carries a high risk of STI transmission, because the lining of the anus is very delicate and easily damaged. Anal sex won’t necessarily stop a woman getting pregnant either, as semen can escape from the anus and enter the vagina after sex. Anal sex can put more strain on a condom, so you can buy stronger ones if you wish, although standard ones should be just as effective if used correctly with plenty of lubricant. As mentioned above, it’s better if the lubricant doesn’t contain Nonoxynol 9, as this can increase the risk of HIV transmission by irritating the lining of the anus.

Okay, when do we stop?
After he has ejaculated, a man using a condom needs to stop and take the condom off. If you carry on having sex, it can burst. If you want to carry on, that’s fine, just put a new condom on again, and away you go. Never re-use a condom.

When the man pulls his penis out, he should hold the base of the condom to make sure that comes out, too. And when taking a condom off, don’t just pull on the end. Roll it back from the base and throw it away safely – you might want to tie a knot in the end to stop it leaking. Don’t flush used condoms down the toilet, and don’t leave it under the bed for your mum to find!

Via: http://www.avert.org/
AVERT is an international HIV and AIDS charity, based in the UK, working to avert HIV and AIDS worldwide, through education, treatment and care.

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Porn: whether you love it, hate it, or feel indifferent, you can’t deny it influences people just like any other form of media. Generally, “Think of the children!” hand-wringing is something I ignore because I think it can get really overblown. But a recent report on how exposure to porn affects young boys is a brash wake-up call that not worrying about their exposure is to their, and our, detriment.

“Harms of Pornography Exposure Among Children and Young People,” comprised of research from a dozen countries, found that boys who see porn are more likely to believe there is nothing wrong with sexually harassing a girl or pinning her down. (Pinning her down, like as if you’re going to sexually assault her? Scary!) But exposure to porn is also harmful for their own sakes, too: Boys who see porn also have more difficulty carrying on successful relationships when they’re older.

Michael Flood, who performed the study at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, succinctly explained it the London Times:

“We know it is shaping sexual knowledge. … But porn is a very poor sex educator because it shows sex in unrealistic ways and fails to address intimacy, love, connection or romance. Often it is quite callous and hostile in its depictions of women.”

When you think about it, the only findings of the report that are so shocking are the specifics. Keeping kids’ general immaturity and literalism in mind, it’s simple to see how exposure to R-rated content that boys are too psychologically young to understand — whether it’s a kinky nurse fantasy or bombs blowing people’s heads off — would not have good effects on their psyches. But the fact that young boys exposed to porn specifically pick up on how to disrespect or hurt women is really disconcerting.

John Carr, a British politician also interviewed for the Times piece, added, “It is not an argument for banning it, but it is an argument to find better ways to make it harder for kids to get hold of it.” Couldn’t have put it better. [Times of London UK]

Via: the frisky

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After posting our 52 Best Natural Breasts of All-Time, much debate erupted over whose lady lumps were real and whose were more fake than a campaign promise. To some, the difference between real breasts and fake breasts couldn’t be more obvious. But with advances in plastic surgery, it’s getting harder for anyone to tell the difference. Still, a few details exist that can expose which one’s are all-natural and which were made in a factory. So read on and never be fooled again!

Find out How to Tell if She Has Fake Boobs after the jump!

Feel

All you really need to do is touch them to be able to tell if she’s had “some work done.” But let’s be honest, you’re not going to have that opportunity very often and definitely not with most of the chicks you’re checking out. But if you do get to cop a feel, fake breasts will be much more firm than the real thing, almost hard inside. Not such a big deal when they look good, but who wants to play with a couple of balloons filled with crap?

Shape

Breasts, thankfully, come in every shape and size. But real breasts are never perfectly round. If she’s standing upright, most real breasts will be round at the bottom, peak at the nipple and flat on top. But if it looks like she’s smuggling a couple of grapefruits under her sweater at all times, those puppies are fake.

Larger breasts will sag over time, so if she’s sporting double-Ds and they’re holding up her chin without a bra, they’re fake. Smaller breasts, which are less affected by gravity, can maintain a nice round shape, but nobody gets implants smaller than a C-cup (a little more than a handful), so if she’s got B’s or less, count on those being real – and awesome!

Hang

Telling whether or not breasts are fake when they’re tragically stuffed in a bra can be especially difficult, since you don’t get to see their true shape. Which brings us to the Hang. When a girl with real ones bends over or leans forward, they go forward too, away from the body.

If they’re big enough, they should start to look kind of like a water balloon held at the knot, getting more bulbous at the bottom, when looking at them from the front or the side. Fake ones, on the other hand, will get ripples or bumps in the skin toward the bottom of the breasts, created by an unnatural pull on the skin. So if it looks like her ta-tas are about to be ripped off by gravity, she’s trying to fool you.

Flop

When a woman lies on her back, her boobs should change shape. If they look like they’re standing at attention, they’re fake – no question about it. If they’re real, they’ll flatten-out, at least a bit, and sag to the sides, toward her armpits. This one is hard to see in pictures, since most models hold their boobs together to keep this from happening and make them look bigger – and faker – for the photo.

Nipple

One of the best ways to tell if her t*ts are fake is to look at the nipples. A number of things can go awry with these little pleasure buttons. (COED’s a SFW site, so you won’t see many of those here – sorry…) First, if her nipples aren’t symmetrically placed on the boobs, there’s a good chance the boobs are fake; unaltered nips grow more or less in the same spot on both breasts not like this: (*)(.) And of course, if the nipples are constantly harder than diamonds, the boobs probably cost as much as one.

Also, implants are often inserted through a lesion around the nipple, so if she’s got a scar here (or in the armpit, around the bottom of the breasts or even the near the belly button), then the mystery is probably solved. However, some women who’ve had lumps removed from their breasts for medical reasons can have a similar scar, so you better give those bad boys a feel, just to be sure.

Motion

Real breasts move. They jiggle and sway and swing. And we love every single second of it. Fake boobs, on the other hand, don’t do a damn thing. Unfortunately, you can’t tell how a set of knockers knock just by looking at (most) pictures. So this doesn’t do you any good there.

But if you can see the lady in question in action, watch for what the breasts do during any quick movements. If she’s kept what her momma gave ‘er, then they should heave, change shape and yes, bounce. If they don’t, they’re fake. But in the end, boobs are boobs and, fake or not, we’re always happy to have a pair around.

So that pretty much sums it up. But here’s a couple more tidbits to keep in mind: Real boobs change size all the time, depending on the time of the month, hormones, diet, health, weight, etc…So just because they look small one day and big the next doesn’t mean she got a boob-job – she might just be getting a ‘visit from Aunt Flo.‘

Also, women with implants often cannot breastfeed, so if you think Angleina Jolie has fake ones, you are (thankfully) mistaken. And because of a loss in body fat (which breast partly are) women who are extremely athletic rarely have big ones unless, of course, they’re not real. So memorize these few perameters (and the ones above) and you’ll be able to spot a fake pair from a mile away.

Via COED Magazine

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6 Ways You're Succeeding In The Sack

6 Ways You’re Succeeding In The Sack
Things going well down there

By: Jenny Foughner

Sex is a touchy subject. (Is it ever! Ha!) Even when you don’t want to hear it, we girls have a whole lot to say about what you’re doing wrong in bed, but do we ever take the time to laud you for all the ways you have mastered the booty? Not nearly enough, as far as I’m concerned – we can’t even manage so much as a gold star or a scratch ‘n sniff sticker. Shameful. I tip my hat to you, gentlemen; when faced with one of one of biology’s most complicated apparatuses, not only do (most of) you dive in with gusto, but you also aspire to achieve epic greatness, to be catalogued in the annals of brunch gossip for years – nay, decades – to come. Wondering what exactly you’ve done right recently? Here’s a short list of ways you’re kicking ass at giving ass. Keep up the good work.

#6 Minding The Details

Women’s brains and men’s brains operate differently, which is why we notice variations in grass shades while you can’t tell the difference between yellow and purple. When we’re naked with you, we’re even more sensitive to little things, like how you smell or how clean your bedroom is, so creating some ambience (mood music, polished floors, an artfully-placed ficus… you know the drill) and keeping the foreplay interesting are just a few of the ways you make our sexperience something more than hit it and quit it. The big finish is only a small part of the sex equation, and your mastery of the whole event, from seduction to satisfaction, makes us feel like the best thing since sliced bread with boobs.

#5 Keeping Pace with us

The one-size-fits-all approach to getting it on is rarely, if ever, successful, which is why your ability to go with the (sex) flow is one of our favorite things about partnering with you for the horizontal tango. For instance: when you notice that we’ve slowed down to a more ‘sensual’ (exhausted) pace, you’re right there with us, but when we’re aggressively tearing at the sheets and screaming for more, you’re bringing it with all you’ve got. You’ve figured out that if you pay attention to our nonverbal cues, everything you try, from varying speed to switching positions, gives us exactly what we want, exactly when we want it. Awesomely done, manfriends.

#4 Exploring Lesser-Known Erogenous Zones

Being the expert sexual spelunker that you are, you pay a visit to all territories, not just the ones you learned about as a horny teenager, en route to your final destination. Taking some time with the toes, knees, ears, necks, upper thighs, fingers, eyelids, and anywhere else that gets a reaction gives you an edge over every other bro who goes straight for the pants. The full-body attention you give us yields insanely more intense orgasms than when we’re treated like a pair of lips with a crotch, and we’re more than happy to react in-kind. You’re like our very own Indiana Jones: we will gladly be your crusade, whether last, first or otherwise

#3 Speaking Up When The Goods Are Great

Every woman has a different sex-talk threshold, but we’re all eager for some confirmation that you’re enjoying what we’re bringing to the party. Whether its moans of ecstasy or straightforward declarations of your feelings, we’re grateful for your enthusiastic reinforcement, and the confidence we get from hearing that you’re enjoying yourself is really all we need to keep on going well into the wee hours of whatever time of day we’re doin it with you. Looks like you’ve figured out that this is one area where “talking it out” can actually be beneficial: you get what you really want, and we’re assured that we’re the Grade-A purveyors of your special brand of pleasure.

#2 Taking charge

Women love strong men – heads of state, business tycoons, cowboys, professors, construction workers, and the list goes on – because there’s just something ridiculously hot about a guy who takes control of a situation and calls the shots with confidence. Whether we admit it or not, we want to be ravaged from time to time, and when the mood strikes, your take-no-prisoners attitude turns us on like nothing else can; sometimes being pushed up against a wall and submitting to your domination is the only thing that will do. When you notice that we’re in the mood for some good old-fashioned pillaging, then we know that you’re being attentive to our needs and asserting your primal masculinity, and we can’t get enough of it.

#1 Living By The Code: Ladies First

A nice gentleman like you, who was raised to say “please” and “thank you” and always finish his vegetables, knows the most important rule of hot sex: ladies first. You’re a rock star under the duvet because you don’t give in until we’ve really finished, ensuring that nobody’s left feeling unsatisfied (and you don’t leave looking like a minute man). Congratulations on being the guy who asks not what his partner can do for him, but what he can do for his partner; when we’re with you, we can spend the night in ecstasy, instead of in agony over the fact that we got too drunk and went home with yet another jackwad.

Via: mademan

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Relax during sex with someone new with these tips.

How To Relax During Sex With Someone New

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