Frank is visiting a Urologist, who is a stunningly beautiful, leggy, 6 foot blonde with a butt to die for.
Early in the consultation, she says ‘Hmm Frank, you are going to have to give up masturbating‘
He replied ‘Why is that?’
She answered, ‘Because I am trying to examine you!’
A Parrot swallows a Viagra Tablet.
His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
‘How come you are sweating?’ he asks.
The parrot replies, ‘Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?’
Wow… that title sounds like some barnyard shenanigans. I promise no horses were sexually harmed in the making of this short.
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From the goofballs over at College Humor comes a phone sex prank to a real phone sex operator!
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Two middle aged women were walking home after a night out and the one said to the other, “I could really do with a wee.” Her friend replies: “So could I, but there are no toilets around here, what shall we do?” The first one points to the village church and says: “There’s no-one about so we could nip in the graveyard ”
A few minutes later, the now relieved ladies are getting to their feet but then they realise they have no toilet paper. The first one uses her knickers to wipe herself and then throws them away while the second, being more resourceful, grabs a ribbon from a wreath that had been left on a grave and uses that.
The next day, the two husbands are talking. One says to the other: “I don’t know what my wife got up to last night but I’m going to have to keep an eye on her. She came home with no knickers on.” The other husband replies: “You think that’s bad? Mine came home with a card hanging out of her bum that said ‘From all the lads at the station,we’ll never forget you….”
Sales were down and the boss was in a quandary; only way he could afford to continue would be to get rid of one of his five staff. Through a process of elimination and calculation he had narrowed it down to one of two people, Jack or Jill. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified, both had joined the company at the same time and both did excellent work. No matter what criteria he used, he still could not decide which one to make redundant so he finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would be the one to go.
Next morning they both arrived at work early but Jill had a bit of a hangover as it had been her birthday the previous night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said: “Jill, I’ve never done this before, but I’m afraid I have to lay you or Jack off.”
Jill paused for a moment, looked at him and replied: “Could you jack off? I feel like shit this morning.”
