10 Embarrassing sexual health questions answered
Thursday, May 20th, 2010Are you normal ‘down there’?
Whether it’s painful periods or zero interest in sex, there’s a lot going on “down there” that we don’t feel comfortable chatting about. The scarier and more embarrassing our concerns, the more probable the need that we should consult our doctors! SheKnows took some of your most pressing questions to the experts — and some of their answers may surprise you!
Q:
I have been experiencing a very embarrassing vaginal odor and itch for quite some time now. It seems like I have tried everything from washing repeatedly with soap to douching and just can’t seem to make it go away. Please help!
A:
Many women experience this problem; you are not alone, reassures Dr. Machelle M. Seibel, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Massachusetts. It could be that your vaginal pH is off. The healthy vagina maintains a pH of approximately 4.5. The body accomplishes this through a delicate ecosystem that is extremely effective in reducing odor, itch, discomfort and sometimes even infection. Many factors, like frequent sex, menstruation, contraceptives even douching can increase vaginal pH. Try RepHresh Vaginal Gel. It is the only over-the-counter product clinically proven to maintain a healthy vaginal pH for 3 days per application and works to eliminate feminine odor and relieve feminine discomfort.
Q:
Is it normal to have never had an orgasm?
A:
A woman confessed to me that she was afraid to ask her doctor a question that she had been hiding from her husband for years, shares Dr. Tammy Nelson, a psychotherapist and author. She pretended with her girlfriends, that she could relate when they talked about their sex lives. But inside, she couldn’t understand what all the fuss was – about orgasms! She “wasn’t sure,” but she “didn’t think she’d ever had one.” I assured her that if she didn’t think she’d had one, then she probably hadn’t. And that it made sense that she was afraid to ask her gyno about orgasms. She said, “How do you ask your doc if you’ve ever had an orgasm before? I’m a grown woman. I’m 34. Surely everyone has had one by this time. There must be something wrong with me.”
Actually, a large percentage of women have never had an orgasm. And studies show that almost 80 percent of women fake orgasms. This actually prevents any discussion between partners about how to make an orgasm happen. On average it takes anywhere from 7 to 20 minutes for a woman to have an orgasm of direct clitoral stimulation. If a woman has never had an orgasm, she might not know this, and her partner might not either. And, if she’s afraid to talk to her doctor about her concerns, it makes it difficult to determine whether the lack of orgasm is due to a lack of education and information or if something physical is preventing a woman from experiencing full genital stimulation.
Q:
Are my labia normal-sized?
A:
These questions fall under the “Am I normal?” category which many women are afraid to ask their doctor, relates Dr. Nelson. The answer to these questions is usually yes, you are normal. Most women have normal vulvas, and normal labia, and normal vaginas. Although there can be sexually transmitted disease and trauma to the genitals that may make the labia and vulva somewhat misshapen, it is highly unusual, and women should know that the average vagina and vulva is not symmetrical.
Q:
I have frequent yeast infections and I don’t know why. I know there are medications to get rid of them but is there anything on the market to prevent them before they even start?
A:
Yes! RepHresh Pro-B is clinically shown to provide healthy probiotic lactobacillus that works with your body to balance yeast and bacteria, says Dr. Seibel. With one capsule taken daily, you can take control and help maintain vaginal flora in a normal range.
Q:
My partner wants me to have an orgasm every time, and I just don’t want to, so I fake it. I hear that’s bad to do. What should I do?
A:
Faking orgasms is a bone of controversy, says Katherine Forsythe, MSW, a sex education specialist. Some experts say never do it. I say go ahead, as long as you allow yourself real orgasms with your partner on a regular basis, and the decision to pretend is based on your needs, not fulfilling a requirement from your partner. The argument against faking it suggests that you are trying too hard to please, and you are not being pleasured at your pace on your time frame. This, in turn, can become a pressure-filled habit and makes you wonder if you have lost the ability to orgasm. Then, a vicious circle ensues: you pretend, you doubt yourself; you doubt yourself and you can’t come. My feeling on the whole thing is this: if you make the conscious choice not to reach orgasm (too tired, distracted, low arousal, etc), and you enjoy the drama of writhing around and pretending, and it pleases you as well as your partner, go ahead. I have clients who tell me that sometimes the drama of faking it is so much fun that they can’t remember if they really “came” or not. If you can masturbate to orgasm, you’ve still got it. Or, if you can orgasm from time to time with your partner, you still have it. As we age, orgasm takes longer for some people. The best bet is to be honest with your partner, if pretending is detracting from your enjoyment. Explain that you may not orgasm all the time, and you are happy with that. The pleasuring is the point, and pleasuring can happen without orgasm.
Q:
Is spotting normal if I am sexually active?
A:
Spotting is not a normal consequence of sexual activity, and whether or not you are sexually active, let your gynecologist or other female-health clinician know, says Lauri J. Romanzi, MD, PC FACOG, a Clinical Associate Professor of Gynecology at Weill Cornell Medical Center. Spotting may be due to ovulation, birth control side effects, slight hormonal irregularities, peri-menopause, infection, polyps, fibroids, cancer, or other uterine, cervical, hormonal or ovarian conditions. The majority of the time it is nothing to worry about, but since you can’t figure it out on your own, a visit to or phone conversation with your doctor is always the smart thing to do.
Q:
What are things that I can do to relieve UTI symptoms and prevent them from occurring in the first place?
A:
If you are experiencing symptoms associated with a urinary tract infection (UTI) such as frequent urination, urgency or lower abdominal pain, you can relieve symptoms with an over- the-counter remedy like AZO STANDARD Maximum Strength, says Dr. Romanzi. It can offer relief in approximately 20 minutes. You can then use an AZO Test Strips to confirm if you have a UTI. This allows you to inform your doctor over the phone and potentially get an antibiotic faster to treat the infection.
For prevention, drink adequate amounts of water, always wipe from front to back, and use a dietary supplement that contains PACran, such as AZO Cranberry. This blocks the attachment of harmful bacteria to the bladder wall. Some women suffer recurrent bladder infections after menopause, and may benefit from low-dose vaginal estrogen therapy in the form of suppository, cream or vaginal ring. If bladder infections continue to recur despite these efforts, discuss antibiotic prophylaxis with your doctor. Antibiotic prophylaxis involves single dose antibiotic take at or after a typical precipitating activity, most commonly sex, in order to prevent infection from developing, so that you can avoid the cycle of recurrent infections.
Q:
Can my doctor tell if I’ve had an abortion, an STD or a miscarriage?
A:
No, says Dr. Romanzi. Not unless you have excessive scarring as a result. Since these things can affect your mental and physical health, it’s important to let your doctor know about all your past medical problems and procedures. If you come in with an infertility problem or pelvic pain — either of which can be related to miscarriage, an STD or complications from an abortion, your doctor will be better able to diagnose and treat you if she knows about your health history.
Q:
Does bacterial vaginosis have to be sexually transmitted?
A:
There’s a broad spectrum of bacterial infections that women can get, and they’re extremely common, and doctors are taught in med school that it’s always sexually transmitted (30 percent of prostitutes have vaginosis, by the way). So it’s scary and embarrassing when you get one. “My doctor admitted that she’s heard a couple of patients (myself included) who convinced her that there may be some exceptions to the “somebody’s cheating” explanation for infections, says reader Dana, a marketing executive.
Q:
Is it normal to have a lot of pain during my period?
A:
“Painful periods, nausea and ‘killer cramps’ for days are not all part of ‘being a woman.’ Says Tamer Seckin, MD. An estimated 10 million United States women and adolescent girls, do not experience relief from a couple of ibuprofen and a day or two to feel normal again. In addition to ‘killer cramps,’ these women may experience painful intercourse, irregular bleeding, increased gas and bloating and infertility.
When all other causes are excluded, 90 percent of the time, it’s probably endometriosis. Unfortunately, endometriosis is the most prevalent; most misdiagnosed, mismanaged, and mishandled disease–and one of the top three causes of female infertility. Thousands of women end up with unnecessary hysterectomies. Women and girls often try to ‘manage’ the pain of endometriosis for years with painkillers and other medications, but these only mask symptoms of the disease. Yet every stage of endometriosis is treatable and, with the correct surgical techniques, even curable.
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