The Pleasure Bunny Blog

A few years ago a big secret was revealed: American men would flock to Brazil for secret sex getaways. But now that this is known, the Dominican Republic has replaced Brazil as the sex tourism capital, according to Keith Murphy, who wrote “Fool’s Paradise” for Essence. Men, especially black men, are traveling to the D.R. to have sex with (and exploit) beautiful women, who are willing to do anything to support themselves and families. There are three main reasons the D.R. is ripe for sex tourism. One, prostitution is legal. Two, the peso is so weak compared to the dollar that a man of meager means in the U.S. can feel like a big spender there. And three, travel to the Dominican Republic is relatively inexpensive—an all-inclusive stay on the popular Boca Chica Beach and round-trip airfare can cost as little as $600. And some pay-for-play can run only $20. Several online companies specialize in adult vacation packages. DR Nights, an online sex tour company, has a $2,500 package that includes deluxe hotel accommodations, a 24-hour companion for three nights, and three more companions for two hours every day. But what might be cheap initially could end up costing a life later. Many in the Dominican Republic sex trade act as if HIV/AIDS doesn’t exist, and even more disturbing, one of the men Murphy interviewed said he can tell whether a woman is infected. Then, there’s the potential to bring the virus or another STD home to a girlfriend or wife.

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Are you normal ‘down there’?

Whether it’s painful periods or zero interest in sex, there’s a lot going on “down there” that we don’t feel comfortable chatting about. The scarier and more embarrassing our concerns, the more probable the need that we should consult our doctors! SheKnows took some of your most pressing questions to the experts — and some of their answers may surprise you!

Q:
I have been experiencing a very embarrassing vaginal odor and itch for quite some time now. It seems like I have tried everything from washing repeatedly with soap to douching and just can’t seem to make it go away. Please help!

A:
Many women experience this problem; you are not alone, reassures Dr. Machelle M. Seibel, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Massachusetts. It could be that your vaginal pH is off. The healthy vagina maintains a pH of approximately 4.5. The body accomplishes this through a delicate ecosystem that is extremely effective in reducing odor, itch, discomfort and sometimes even infection. Many factors, like frequent sex, menstruation, contraceptives even douching can increase vaginal pH. Try RepHresh Vaginal Gel. It is the only over-the-counter product clinically proven to maintain a healthy vaginal pH for 3 days per application and works to eliminate feminine odor and relieve feminine discomfort.

Q:
Is it normal to have never had an orgasm?

A:
A woman confessed to me that she was afraid to ask her doctor a question that she had been hiding from her husband for years, shares Dr. Tammy Nelson, a psychotherapist and author. She pretended with her girlfriends, that she could relate when they talked about their sex lives. But inside, she couldn’t understand what all the fuss was – about orgasms! She “wasn’t sure,” but she “didn’t think she’d ever had one.” I assured her that if she didn’t think she’d had one, then she probably hadn’t. And that it made sense that she was afraid to ask her gyno about orgasms. She said, “How do you ask your doc if you’ve ever had an orgasm before? I’m a grown woman. I’m 34. Surely everyone has had one by this time. There must be something wrong with me.”

Actually, a large percentage of women have never had an orgasm. And studies show that almost 80 percent of women fake orgasms. This actually prevents any discussion between partners about how to make an orgasm happen. On average it takes anywhere from 7 to 20 minutes for a woman to have an orgasm of direct clitoral stimulation. If a woman has never had an orgasm, she might not know this, and her partner might not either. And, if she’s afraid to talk to her doctor about her concerns, it makes it difficult to determine whether the lack of orgasm is due to a lack of education and information or if something physical is preventing a woman from experiencing full genital stimulation.

Q:
Are my labia normal-sized?

A:
These questions fall under the “Am I normal?” category which many women are afraid to ask their doctor, relates Dr. Nelson. The answer to these questions is usually yes, you are normal. Most women have normal vulvas, and normal labia, and normal vaginas. Although there can be sexually transmitted disease and trauma to the genitals that may make the labia and vulva somewhat misshapen, it is highly unusual, and women should know that the average vagina and vulva is not symmetrical.

Q:
I have frequent yeast infections and I don’t know why. I know there are medications to get rid of them but is there anything on the market to prevent them before they even start?

A:
Yes! RepHresh Pro-B is clinically shown to provide healthy probiotic lactobacillus that works with your body to balance yeast and bacteria, says Dr. Seibel. With one capsule taken daily, you can take control and help maintain vaginal flora in a normal range.

Q:
My partner wants me to have an orgasm every time, and I just don’t want to, so I fake it. I hear that’s bad to do. What should I do?

A:
Faking orgasms is a bone of controversy, says Katherine Forsythe, MSW, a sex education specialist. Some experts say never do it. I say go ahead, as long as you allow yourself real orgasms with your partner on a regular basis, and the decision to pretend is based on your needs, not fulfilling a requirement from your partner. The argument against faking it suggests that you are trying too hard to please, and you are not being pleasured at your pace on your time frame. This, in turn, can become a pressure-filled habit and makes you wonder if you have lost the ability to orgasm. Then, a vicious circle ensues: you pretend, you doubt yourself; you doubt yourself and you can’t come. My feeling on the whole thing is this: if you make the conscious choice not to reach orgasm (too tired, distracted, low arousal, etc), and you enjoy the drama of writhing around and pretending, and it pleases you as well as your partner, go ahead. I have clients who tell me that sometimes the drama of faking it is so much fun that they can’t remember if they really “came” or not. If you can masturbate to orgasm, you’ve still got it. Or, if you can orgasm from time to time with your partner, you still have it. As we age, orgasm takes longer for some people. The best bet is to be honest with your partner, if pretending is detracting from your enjoyment. Explain that you may not orgasm all the time, and you are happy with that. The pleasuring is the point, and pleasuring can happen without orgasm.

Q:
Is spotting normal if I am sexually active?

A:
Spotting is not a normal consequence of sexual activity, and whether or not you are sexually active, let your gynecologist or other female-health clinician know, says Lauri J. Romanzi, MD, PC FACOG, a Clinical Associate Professor of Gynecology at Weill Cornell Medical Center. Spotting may be due to ovulation, birth control side effects, slight hormonal irregularities, peri-menopause, infection, polyps, fibroids, cancer, or other uterine, cervical, hormonal or ovarian conditions. The majority of the time it is nothing to worry about, but since you can’t figure it out on your own, a visit to or phone conversation with your doctor is always the smart thing to do.

Q:
What are things that I can do to relieve UTI symptoms and prevent them from occurring in the first place?

A:
If you are experiencing symptoms associated with a urinary tract infection (UTI) such as frequent urination, urgency or lower abdominal pain, you can relieve symptoms with an over- the-counter remedy like AZO STANDARD Maximum Strength, says Dr. Romanzi. It can offer relief in approximately 20 minutes. You can then use an AZO Test Strips to confirm if you have a UTI. This allows you to inform your doctor over the phone and potentially get an antibiotic faster to treat the infection.

For prevention, drink adequate amounts of water, always wipe from front to back, and use a dietary supplement that contains PACran, such as AZO Cranberry. This blocks the attachment of harmful bacteria to the bladder wall. Some women suffer recurrent bladder infections after menopause, and may benefit from low-dose vaginal estrogen therapy in the form of suppository, cream or vaginal ring. If bladder infections continue to recur despite these efforts, discuss antibiotic prophylaxis with your doctor. Antibiotic prophylaxis involves single dose antibiotic take at or after a typical precipitating activity, most commonly sex, in order to prevent infection from developing, so that you can avoid the cycle of recurrent infections.

Q:
Can my doctor tell if I’ve had an abortion, an STD or a miscarriage?

A:
No, says Dr. Romanzi. Not unless you have excessive scarring as a result. Since these things can affect your mental and physical health, it’s important to let your doctor know about all your past medical problems and procedures. If you come in with an infertility problem or pelvic pain — either of which can be related to miscarriage, an STD or complications from an abortion, your doctor will be better able to diagnose and treat you if she knows about your health history.

Q:
Does bacterial vaginosis have to be sexually transmitted?

A:
There’s a broad spectrum of bacterial infections that women can get, and they’re extremely common, and doctors are taught in med school that it’s always sexually transmitted (30 percent of prostitutes have vaginosis, by the way). So it’s scary and embarrassing when you get one. “My doctor admitted that she’s heard a couple of patients (myself included) who convinced her that there may be some exceptions to the “somebody’s cheating” explanation for infections, says reader Dana, a marketing executive.

Q:
Is it normal to have a lot of pain during my period?

A:
“Painful periods, nausea and ‘killer cramps’ for days are not all part of ‘being a woman.’ Says Tamer Seckin, MD. An estimated 10 million United States women and adolescent girls, do not experience relief from a couple of ibuprofen and a day or two to feel normal again. In addition to ‘killer cramps,’ these women may experience painful intercourse, irregular bleeding, increased gas and bloating and infertility.

When all other causes are excluded, 90 percent of the time, it’s probably endometriosis. Unfortunately, endometriosis is the most prevalent; most misdiagnosed, mismanaged, and mishandled disease–and one of the top three causes of female infertility. Thousands of women end up with unnecessary hysterectomies. Women and girls often try to ‘manage’ the pain of endometriosis for years with painkillers and other medications, but these only mask symptoms of the disease. Yet every stage of endometriosis is treatable and, with the correct surgical techniques, even curable.

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Sexually Transmitted Infections Surface Soon After Teenage Girls Become Sexually Active
By Jennifer Warner

WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Louise Chang

One in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted infection (STI), according to a new study.

Researchers found that 24.1% of girls between the ages of 14 and 19 tested positive for one of five of the most common sexually transmitted infections, including human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes simplex virus type 2, and chlamydia.

But what they say is most concerning is how soon these sexually transmitted infections appeared after teenage girls began engaging in sexual activity. The study showed that within one year of initiating sexual activity, 19.2% of teen girls had an STI.

“The prevalence of STIs among female adolescents is substantial, and STIs begin to be acquired soon after sexual initiation and with few sex partners,” write researcher Sara E. Forhan, MD, MPH, of the CDC and colleagues in Pediatrics.

The presence of a sexually transmitted infection does not necessarily mean that the person will develop symptoms of the disease. But some infections can lead to long-term complications, such as pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, and cervical cancer. Some STIs also increase the risk of becoming infected with HIV.

In the study, researchers analyzed information collected from 838 teenage girls aged 14-19 who participated in the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey in 2003-2004.

The girls were interviewed, examined, and tested for the following five sexually transmitted infections: gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, herpes simplex virus type 2, and HPV.

Overall, 24.1% tested positive for at least one of these STIs, and the prevalence was higher, 37.7%, among sexually experienced teenage girls.

The most common STI was HPV (18.3% of all girls) followed by chlamydia (3.9%).

“These findings highlight the importance of both primary and secondary STI prevention, including early, skill-based sex education; HPB vaccination of preadolescent girls; and chlamydia screening of all sexually active female adolescents,” the researchers write.

www.pleasurebunny.co.uk – Safe Sex

strong>Why do people always talk about condoms?

Because if you want to have sex with someone, they’re important! Sex can be great, but there are risks involved. Aside from all the emotional issues, you can catch infections, and a woman can become pregnant. If you don’t want to end up in a STD clinic or with a baby, using a condom is a good idea. It won’t be much fun either when you have to tell your partner or parent that you have a sexually transmitted disease or are pregnant.

It’s okay – my boy/girlfriend will sort it out. . .

Some people think it’s the man’s job to make sure he uses a condom, some people think contraception is up to the woman. They’re both wrong – it takes two to have sex, so both partners should make an effort. If you’re not responsible enough to sort out contraception, you’re not responsible enough to be having sex. If you’re sleeping with someone, you should have enough respect for them to protect them.

What about when we haven’t got a condom?

Then if you want to be safe, you’ll have to get one. Some types of contraception (such as the pill) are more effective than condoms for avoiding pregnancy, but won’t reduce your chances of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.

And if you’re single, it doesn’t hurt to carry condoms with you – just in case!

Doesn’t that make me look ‘easy’?
No – it makes you look like you’re mature enough to look after yourself.

Oh, and it’s okay to put a condom in your pocket or your wallet if you’re going out for the night, but don’t keep them in there for long – they’ll go squidgy! Condoms need to be stored in a cool, dry place. They also have a sell-by date on the packet – don’t use condoms that are too old.

You can’t catch anything or get pregnant on your first time though, can you?
Actually, you can. It’s scary enough having sex for the first time without having to worry about using condoms, too. But you do need to – if you’re nervous about using condoms or if you don’t want to seem inexperienced, practise with them in advance. A boy could try to put a condom on when he masturbates, to get used to what it feels like, and what to do with it when he finishes.

Okay. . . so where can I get some?
Buying condoms can seem frightening or embarrassing, especially for a young person, but it isn’t really. You can get them in most pharmacies or drugstores and a lot of supermarkets sell them. In some countries such as the UK and parts of the USA young people are entitled to free contraceptive advice and contraceptives from their doctor. But you don’t need a prescription to get them, and often health clinics, family planning centres, and even schools have supplies of free condoms for teenagers. In most places, you can buy condoms whatever your age.

If you’re still too embarrassed to go and buy them, you can sometimes get them from vending machines (often in public toilets) or over the internet.

But there’s so many different kinds! Which ones are best?
There are a lot of different kinds of condoms, but don’t worry. Here are the different types you can get:

Material – Most condoms are made from latex or polyurethane. The latex ones are a little stronger, so they give slightly better protection from STDs and pregnancy. A very small amount of people are allergic to latex, though, so they use polyurethane ones.
Size – Condoms come in lots of different sizes. You can get longer or shorter or wider or narrower ones. If a packet of condoms says ‘large’ or ’small’, this is usually talking about the width of the condom, not the length. Be honest! A condom that is too big may come off, and a condom that’s too small might break. Most condoms that you buy in shops and vending machines will be a standard size.
Lubricated – Some condoms are not lubricated at all, some have silicone-based lubricants, some have water-based lubricants. Some condoms are lubricated with a spermicide (see below).
Spermicidal – Some condoms have a spermicidal lubricant, which can help to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy. One of the most common spermicides is something called nonoxynol-9. This is a chemical that some people are sensitive to, and if it’s used regularly it can can cause irritation and increase the chance of HIV infection. Condoms lubricated with Nonoxynol 9 should not be used for anal sex.
Ribbed – These condoms have little ridges running around them. These can make sex more pleasurable for both partners, and if they’re used correctly (see below) then they’re just as safe as ordinary ones. Ribbed condoms are the answer for people who complain “But I can’t feel anything if I put on a condom. . . ”
Coloured – The natural colour of latex is a creamy white, so lots of condoms have different colours – some of them even glow in the dark. Again, if they’re used properly, they’re fine.
Flavoured – Some sexually transmitted infections can be passed on orally, so it’s a good idea to put on a condom for oral sex. Sometimes, people don’t like the smell and taste of latex, so they use flavoured condoms. These can taste of anything from strawberry to curry! Flavoured condoms shouldn’t be used for vaginal or anal sex, though, unless they have the kite mark sign in the UK and Europe, or are FDA approved in the USA.
Resevoir tipped – Most condoms have a reservoir tip to catch semen, some have a plain tip. If they have a reservoir tip, be sure to pinch the end when putting them on – if they have air inside them, they can break when you’re having sex.

I’m still not sure…
If you’re unsure about what to do it can help to talk things through with an adult, but sometimes this is not possible. Teens sometimes find it embarrassing talking to their parents about sex – you could try asking a teacher or a guidance councillor for advice and information, if you’re more comfortable with that. The internet can also be a really good place to look for information and advice.

So how effective are condoms?
There’s lots of myths about how effective condoms are. If they’re used correctly, condoms are about 94% – 97% (depending on which study you look at) effective at preventing pregnancy and they’re nearly 100% effective at preventing transmission of HIV. Some people say that certain viruses can ‘pass through’ latex – that’s not true.

They won’t help against crabs, though, and some sexually transmitted infections (like herpes) can be caught through oral sex with someone who is infected, so you need to use condoms for this, too.

Is it even safer wearing two condoms?
No! The friction of the condoms rubbing together would probably make them both break, and it wouldn’t be very comfortable for the person wearing them. You also shouldn’t use the male and female condoms together.

What is the female condom?
There is also a female condom, which is a type of pouch which fits inside the vagina.

How do I mention condoms without spoiling the moment?
“Everything’s going great, the atmosphere’s really romantic, and then you have to get a condom out. . . .”

“Putting a condom on can be quite sexy. ”

One of the main reasons that teens say they don’t like using condoms is that they think condoms interrupt a passionate moment – and it’s true that it can be difficult to find, open and unroll a condom in the dark when you’ve both got your minds on other things.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult and it doesn’t have to ’spoil the moment’.

The best way to make sure you can put a condom easily is to practise in advance . . . girls can practise on appropriately shaped vegetables. Then, when the time arrives to do it for real, you’ll know what you’re doing. Putting a condom on can be quite sexy. It doesn’t have to be done by the person who is going to wear the condom – it can be quite an intimate thing for his partner to do.

Keep your condoms and some lube close by, then you won’t have to get up, put the lights on, go into the bathroom and hunt around in the back of the cupboard!

What is ‘lube’?
Lubricant or ‘lube’ is like a cream or jelly which is sometimes used to make sex go a little more smoothly. Quite often being tense or rushing things can make sex difficult or painful, so try to relax and take your time. You might also want to use extra lubrication. There are many different brands of lube, for example KY Jelly, ID Glide, Astroglide or Liquid Silk, which you can buy from supermarkets or drugstores. There are also different types, for example some lubes are designed specifically for anal sex. If you are using a condom then you must use a water-based lubricant like KY Jelly, and not an oil-based lubricant like Vaseline. Make sure the lubricant only goes on the outside of the condom – if any gets on the inside, the condom can slip off during sex.

Any tips for putting condoms on?
Firstly, you should put the condom on before there’s any contact between the penis and your partner’s body. Fluids released from the penis even very early on in sex can cause pregnancy or transmit an STI.

So, when the penis is erect, open the condom wrapper. Don’t do it with your teeth! This can cause tiny rips in the condom which you might not notice. Unroll the condom a little over the top of the penis – make sure that the roll is on the outside – if it’s backwards then the condom won’t unroll. If there’s any air trapped in the condom, this can cause it to break, so make sure you pinch the end to squeeze any air out. Then just firmly roll the condom down as far as you can. If you want to use any lube, put it on the outside of the condom and make sure it’s water-based lubricant. Oil based lubricants can weaken the condom and make it break.

What if it breaks?
If a condom breaks while you’re having sex, then stop right away and put a new condom on. While you’re having sex you can sometimes feel if a condom has broken, but not always, so you should check occasionally that it’s okay. If you think some semen has escaped from the condom you might want to think about talking to your doctor about getting emergency contraception and an HIV/STD test.

Do I need to put on a condom for oral sex?
Yes. Some sexually transmitted diseases and infections (such as herpes) can be passed on by oral sex. When you use a condom for oral sex, you should change condoms before having vaginal or anal sex, because teeth may have made little holes in it.

What about anal sex?
Again, yes. Anal sex carries a high risk of STI transmission, because the lining of the anus is very delicate and easily damaged. Anal sex won’t necessarily stop a woman getting pregnant either, as semen can escape from the anus and enter the vagina after sex. Anal sex can put more strain on a condom, so you can buy stronger ones if you wish, although standard ones should be just as effective if used correctly with plenty of lubricant. As mentioned above, it’s better if the lubricant doesn’t contain Nonoxynol 9, as this can increase the risk of HIV transmission by irritating the lining of the anus.

Okay, when do we stop?
After he has ejaculated, a man using a condom needs to stop and take the condom off. If you carry on having sex, it can burst. If you want to carry on, that’s fine, just put a new condom on again, and away you go. Never re-use a condom.

When the man pulls his penis out, he should hold the base of the condom to make sure that comes out, too. And when taking a condom off, don’t just pull on the end. Roll it back from the base and throw it away safely – you might want to tie a knot in the end to stop it leaking. Don’t flush used condoms down the toilet, and don’t leave it under the bed for your mum to find!

Via: http://www.avert.org/
AVERT is an international HIV and AIDS charity, based in the UK, working to avert HIV and AIDS worldwide, through education, treatment and care.

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